Melissa Nipper
Director of College Counseling
Constant- that is the word I feel describes what it was like to have a newborn child- constant. We were either constantly feeding, burping, changing, rocking, entertaining, or attempting to get our little creation to sleep. As our first born grew, we grew as well - as did our definition of being parents. Or, maybe we just got use to the ‘constant’ of parenthood and that simply became the norm. I remember two, what seemed like back then, major milestones that changed the shape of parenthood for us in those distinct moments. First, there was the day that our son properly dressed himself to go out and play in the snow. This process, that typically took the equivalent of a work day, now was taken out of our hands as he achieved full snow gear, boots and all, all by himself. Even better, he could take it all off by himself when the fun in the snow was done. The second breakthrough and major milestone: being able to get into the car and buckled all by himself. Now THAT was a life changer! I think we gained 10, maybe 15 minutes of our lives each time we got into and out of our vehicle.
Although having been warned time and time again by people having gone through the parenthood process, we were caught off guard by how quickly time passed by. Suddenly, our major decisions of which piece of art work should we remove from the fridge in order to hang an A+ spelling test has turned into the recognition that college for our son is seemingly right around the corner. How did this happen so quickly? Being a college placement counselor for the past 20 years, I have been asked by many parents (most recently, by the parents of my son’s friends): ‘How as parents do we navigate this process? What should we do and where on earth do we even begin?. When should we begin and are we already behind?’. Although emotionally, I may not be prepared to manage my son packing up and leaving home (his goal of course is to attend a university on the West Coast- way to choose something close buddy), I do feel confident in the process of getting from point A: Freshman year in high school to point B: May 1st- the college admissions decision deadline date- the day the students must declare where they will begin the next phase of their lives.
For most teens, this is their first real decision they have had to make in their lives. Up until now, school was laid out for them. For many, based on where they lived, they knew where they would be going to elementary, middle, and high school. Attending school was not an option, it was, in fact, the law. However, there is no mandate requiring students to attend college. These new adults have their first taste at freedom. This is also a very new phase for us as parents. Up until this point in time, what we said carried weight. But now, although we obviously all want to have input, it is ultimately, and should be, up to the student to make the choice in this big milestone in their lives: ‘where do I go after high school?’. This is why having a solid basis for this decision is paramount during high school.
As parents, we want (not to mention our savings accounts may dictate) our children to make well informed decisions and not starry eyed choices based on ‘name brand’ or wanting to attend a college because ‘that is where all my friends are going…’. A 4 year comprehensive college curriculum program forms the foundation to the college search and application process in the freshman year so by the time the student is formally starting the search and application process (typically during the second semester of the junior year), they will have a much more well developed idea of what they want and need out of a college. This mindfulness when choosing schools to apply to will help to ease the nervous and anxious parent- who themselves are also facing a transition : learning to allow our children to a make major life decision. Gone are the days of forcing our kids to sit in their high-chair until they finish their peas. We are now facing the realities of our kids leaving home, some perhaps going hundreds and hundreds of miles away. This is why is is so imperative to start thinking of the process early. By building a solid foundation, the structure will be in place for well informed and thought out choices.
At AOA, we have a 4 year college counseling advisory curriculum. By starting the college process at the beginning of high school, it is my belief that our students will be better prepared to make well informed and thought-out choices regarding their college fit and major. By the spring of their junior year, when the formal college search process begins, our students will start this phase of their life feeling confident and well informed. Where should they start? What are the building blocks that will inevitably solidify their choices? How can we, as parents, support them and guide them without overwhelming them (and ourselves)?
I cannot help but reflect on the days when my son would hold out his hand for me to take before we crossed the street. Me, grabbing it, guiding him protectively across the busy path. This image mimics the role of a high school college counselor- holding the hands of our families while guiding them through this new phase in life. The goal is to make the entire process exciting, a bonding experience so to speak between the parent and child, and not to make it seem like a ‘constant’ task being forced on the parent or the student but rather a gradual build into declaring which college to attend.
Freshman year:
The transition from middle school to freshman year can be difficult! This is when everything starts to matter in the eyes of colleges. Students now have transcripts and grades matter. Activities and community service hours become not just extras that students do for fun but have become an essential part of the college application narrative. Some students, and parents, tend to overthink the college search process. On the other hand, some students may see freshman year as just an extension of middle school. These two extremes must be averaged out to create the perfect scenario: a well balanced freshman year that is all about self- discovery. During freshman year, students should:
* Understand that class selection is important- freshman classes are the building blocks for future class opportunities and options.
* Recognize that strength of schedule is very important - many colleges look at how much a student will challenge themselves but students need to be careful. There is a balance between challenging oneself and being successful and challenging oneself and encountering a major academic struggle. For instance, getting an A in an honors or college prep class is much better than earning a C in an AP course.
* Take a practice ACT or SAT. Please do not feel the need to take the real test! Freshman year is JUST. TOO. SOON. Students are still learning higher level math concepts and advancing their reading skills. By taking a practice test, students gain an idea of what the dreaded SAT and ACT will look like. It eliminates the mystery of these tests allowing for an understanding of how best to prepare for future standardized testing.
* This is the year they should learn and adjust their study skills, learn and practice time management and also develop test taking strategies that match the high school level test.
* Students should also explore activities. Keep in mind, colleges consider quality over quantity when it comes to extra curricular activities. If a student is involved with two or three very meaningful activities, especially those in which they can demonstrate leadership and initiative, this is more highly regarded than being involved in numerous activities in which there is only a peripheral level of involvement.
* Ideally, all freshman should learn about what types of colleges there are: public, private, liberal arts etc. They should experience a ‘taste of college’ and be exposed to what colleges look for in an applicant. This plants the seed of understanding in the freshman student and also will help to enlighten the parents on what colleges are actually looking for when they review applications.
* Freshmen should visit a local college. It doesn’t have to be one they are even interested in BUT by visiting a college early in high school, the idea of a college campus can be demystified.
* Begin a resume, or virtual portfolio, compiling awards, activities, community service projects, and any other significant involvement. When it comes time to apply to colleges in the senior year, It is so easy to forget what took place three years prior. By beginning this list now, a student’s application process will be that much easier.
* Attend college rep visits at your high school to further gain knowledge of what colleges have to offer.
Sophomore year:
The classes taken during sophomore year are also very important. They may satisfy prerequisites for higher level courses. At many schools, placement in honors and AP classes must have teacher approval. By taking the right classes, that fit a student’s ability (challenging them while not overwhelming them), the junior year courses to take become very clear.
* Whichever practice test the student did not take in their freshman year (either the practice ACT or the practice SAT), they should take sophomore year. They should then compare each test. Is one score way above the other? Did they feel more comfortable with one test over the other? If so, this is the test they should focus on and prepare for.
* Don’t forget to continue adding to the resume/virtual portfolio. I tell my student’s all the time- ‘Your future self will thank you!’
* Be mindful of leadership opportunities and seize them when they come along OR find ways (take initiative) to make these opportunities happen.
* Students should begin to explore possible majors or career interests. Shadowing a person in a profession that is of interest to them may solidify whether they want, or in some cases do not want, to pursue that field of study. If a student has no idea what they want to do, that is COMPLETELY FINE AS WELL! The US Department of Education reports that 1 in 9 college students change their major more than two times during their college career and over 75% of students either begin as ‘undecided’ or change their major at least once before college graduation. Think back to when you were 15 or even 18. Did you know you would be doing the job you are doing right now? So relax, unless a student wants to go into a specialized field with an accelerated degree, changing majors is the norm. College is a place to explore options and opportunities.
* We have many assessments that the students take to help them get a better idea of their strengths and areas that need improvement, learning style inventories, career interest profiles, and assessments that can help determine appropriate college major and career path based on interest inventories. This gaining of self understanding can be a catalyst to thinking about options they may not have considered in the past.
* Sophomore year is a great year to go more in depth with college visits allowing a student to begin to narrow down the type of college they may want including having a better understanding of the setting, the size, and the academic structure of the school. Visit two different types of colleges and compare. Visit a large public university and visit a smaller private university. Which felt better? What were the pros and cons of each. By comparing these areas, a student can better focus in on what may be the best fit for them.
* Students should attend college representative visits at their high school to further gain knowledge of what colleges have to offer. These information sessions give students an idea of what individual colleges have to offer. These sessions may also spark questions and lead to areas of interest that the student may not have thought about before. For example, a student may not have thought about study abroad opportunities as an aspect to consider. But, after hearing about a college’s semester in Rome program, this is now a ‘must have’ on the college checklist.
Junior year:
Junior year IS the most important year. This is the year that will produce the final grades on the transcript that the colleges will see when applications are sent in. This can also be the year to even out any bumps in the road a student may have experienced in 9th and 10th grade. Struggled in a class? Didn’t have the outcome hoped for in terms of GPA? Hit a roadblock along the way somewhere? All is not lost! Junior year is the year to show resilience and make up for any concerns the student may have. It also makes for a great essay topic! I also highly recommend that students do as much as they can during the second semester of junior year in order to ease their requirements during their busy first semester of their senior year.
* Virtual portfolio/resume should be completed.
* Activities and involvement- leadership and initiative are highly regarded in the application process. Students should be mindful of the level of involvement in their activities. Again, it is quality over quantity in regards to extra curricular involvement.
* Take the SAT and/or ACT- take a prep class but only if 100% invested in this. Otherwise, just doing one’s homework will be beneficial in two ways: better grades and better preparation for the standardized tests. There are also a number of colleges that have joined the FairTest movement. This allows for students to apply without standardized test scores. They may ask for additional letters of recommendation or copies of graded papers to supplement the application.
* Complete an ESSAY! Look at the Common App prompts. The second semester junior year is the perfect time to begin (maybe even finish) the main personal statement. This should not be a dissertation length paper. In fact, the common application has a 650 word limit. By getting the main personal statement out of the way early, students will have more time and less stress for the supplemental essays some colleges require.
* Teacher recommendations- ask before summer! Colleges typically want to see two letters of recommendation. One should be from a science or math teacher and one should be from an English/humanities teacher. Keep in mind it is very important who is asked. Has the student had more than one class with a teacher? Has the student had significant interactions with the teacher outside of the classroom? Perhaps the teacher is also the student’s coach or an advisor. The teachers that write the recommendation letters should also be from the junior year. By asking the teachers early, they are now given ample time to write the best recommendation possible rather than asking them a week ahead of time- these may not be the best to use...
* Students should: have a working college list and visit as many colleges on the list as possible over the summer. Keep notes for all visits. Send handwritten thank you notes to the admissions counselors that are met with. Make sure these visits are scheduled visits so that they go on record. This demonstrated interest can sometimes help in the college process.
* Speaking of the working college list, I like to take the ladder approach: have schools on the list that are on different levels: safety, realistic/target, and dream/reach. Applying to 5-7 colleges is the norm. Some students may only apply to 1 (be careful as to not put all the eggs in one basket) while others may become obsessed with applying and even hit the maximum level on the common app (that’s 20 colleges by the way). Not only is this a lot of work, it is EXPENSIVE!
* Juniors should attend college rep visits at their high school to further gain knowledge of what colleges have to offer. By meeting with a college representative of a school of interest, the student is showing demonstrated interest- have I stressed yet that this is a VERY, VERY important aspect of the college admissions process?
* Speaking of demonstrated interest, I highly recommend a student visit their top choice school if at all feasible for the family. Many of the top choice colleges however also recognize this may not be financially realistic for some. Many of the top tier schools do not count campus visits towards an applicant’s admission decision. By visiting the college however, a student may solidify their desire to attend and may want to consider an early decision application.
* Attend a college fair but do research ahead of time. Find out which colleges will be in attendance and mark the ones that specifically are of interest. Go in with a game plan, come out with knowledge (and a lot of brochures).
* Begin the common application in late spring. It will be the practice one but much of the information will roll over to the live version that opens each August.
* Be very mindful of the classes selected for senior year. Colleges don’t want to see basket weaving and three classes of physical education. They all look at strength of schedule. Again, this is a balance: student need to have a respectable strength of schedule without overwhelming themselves.
Senior year:
THIS IS IT! All these years later, even though it seems like kindergarten was just yesterday, senior year and application time is here! Senior year is no time to slack off in classes. It is the contrary. Some schools may ask for semester or quarter grades. Teachers also continue to write recommendation letters. As long as students have followed along with what they should be doing every year, they will be ready to solidify all the pieces of the application puzzle during the first semester. Trust me, by keeping up with the small things each year, the craziness of the college process will be MUCH easier and relaxed and even fun (seriously, it CAN be fun!). If done properly, senior year consists of completing:
* FAFSA (only for domestic students) and CSS (if required by the select college). I will save the ‘how to pay for college’ for a different blog.
* Prepare for interviews- some colleges require, some offer, some won’t even consider this.
* If a student hasn’t visited their top choice colleges yet, they should.
* Consider ED/EA/REA/RD applications.
* Be aware of deadlines! I would hate for a student to have a dream school only to miss the application deadline.
* May 1st is National Decision Day. A student does not have to make a deposit to a school until this day. Prior to this day, many schools offer admitted student overnight visit programs. This is like a test drive. My mentor use to say: ‘You wouldn’t marry a blind date, so neither should you choose a college without visiting it.’ It is a great idea for the students to collect all of their acceptances, look at the financial aid and merit packages, consider all other aspects that are of importance to the family, and then after everything is considered, it is time to make the deposit! CONGRATULATIONS, YOU MADE IT!
Keep in mind, the college process is a very individualized process for each student. Although I have laid out a general path, what is right for one, may not be right for another. Also, if there was a struggle somewhere along the way, all hope is not lost! Most colleges have a holistic approach to college admissions. This means they look at the whole picture of a student. I liken this to a jigsaw puzzle. Each piece of the application is a piece to the puzzle. The holistic review allows the colleges to put the pieces together and see the full picture of a student and not just the test score and transcript pieces. Also, in terms of essays, I like to anticipate what questions the admissions counselor may have after reviewing the application. It is best to provide answers to these questions before they have a chance to get asked. This is the best time to show grit and resilience and the ability to overcome obstacles.
My final piece of advice, and this may be the most important: It is SO IMPERATIVE to not compare test scores, where a student is applying, where they got accepted, how much of a scholarship they were offered etc. As hard as this may sound, try and ignore all the noise that surrounds the college process. It will be inevitable that a well-meaning family member or neighbor will ask: ‘So, where is your child going to college?’. It is also very acceptable to answer: ‘We are looking at all their options.’ Also keep in mind that you are not graded as a parent based on where your child goes to college. The ultimate goal of going to college is the right fit, leading to a satisfied and productive college student regardless of where they attend. In the end it is all about what they do while at college and not what college they graduate from.
Constant, the college process during the high school years is a constant factor. But, just as we had to adjust to the demands of becoming new parents, if done properly, the ‘constant’ factor simply becomes the norm and integrates into daily life. Stress is reduced, expectations are known, and the path to crossing the road is safe and clearly laid out. One final thought to leave you with. Please keep in mind that your child’s choice in college should not be based on which college you think sounds good when talking to friends, family, strangers etc. Their choice in college should be about finding a university that will help them develop into the person you always dreamed they would become.
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