Love & Hate

 Darryl Lewis

Theater Director and Diversity Coordinator

Most people think that the opposite of love is hate. They are wrong. It is oppression.

Can you find me in the photo above? It should not be hard. For most of my formative years, I was one of a handful of black students in the Wickliffe Public School System. I attended Lincoln Elementary School, Wickliffe Junior High School, (before the name change to Middle School), and eventually I graduated from Wickliffe High School, in a class of approximately 350 students. There were many things I loved about attending the Wickliffe Public School System, but something, unbeknownst to me at the time, was missing. In the past few weeks I have scoured my memories trying to find something familiar, something with which to connect. It was a bit of a surprise to me that I would come to realize that I never had a teacher, K-12, that was black and/or brown like me. Every single teacher was white.  I also started to recall that on many days, I felt great shame and I often wondered if being born black and/or brown was a curse from God. Please know that I do not make these statements in an attempt to cast a net of blame on anyone. I am just relating my own experiences in an attempt to help anyone that cares to know a little more about my life journey because, of course, that will lead me to being the person I am today. 

I can recall two stories that may shine a light on the cause of that shame. In one particular grade school writing assignment, we were instructed to write an essay. The topic of that essay was what we had eaten for dinner the previous night and breakfast that morning. I completed the assignment and the teacher would soon read each essay out loud to the class. I remember hearing very different dinner and breakfast foods being consumed by my classmates. They wrote about pizzas, cheeseburgers, french fries, pop tarts and frosted flakes. When the time came to have my assignment read out loud, the teacher revealed that my family had eaten collard greens, fried chicken and cornbread for dinner and grits the next morning for breakfast. The class erupted into great laughter. I was mortified. I’m sure my memory is a little foggy on the next point, but I seem to recall any lesson dealing with the history of black and/or brown people including images of mostly naked people of color from the continent of Africa. They were  adorned with tribal accessories, holding spears, dancing wildly to drum beats and speaking in a particular way. We spent a good deal of time talking about the trans-atlantic slave trade. Those images were unsettling and created a sense of great shame. I also seem to recall that anytime lessons were of people that were not black and/or brown, these people were always doing great things, writing great stories and poems, creating great works of art, starting countries. They were always well dressed and always well spoken. 

I now understand that because I was one of those black and/or brown person’s, my feelings of shame were not the only feelings to manifest through these lessons. My other classmates that were not of black and/or brown coloration were being filled with a different sense of being, of higher station. These lessons, while not intended to produce this effect, were well learned. I remember on many occasions being called a “spear-chucker” on the playground during recess. When this was being addressed with the class, we were all told that “sticks and stones may break our bones, but names will never hurt you”. But of course they do. 

After graduation, I attended University in Erie, Pennsylvania. I was the first in my family to do so. For four years at Mercyhurst University, D’Angelo Conservatory of Music, I studied the greatest composers that have ever lived. I studied Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Schubert, Verdi, Puccini, Strauss, Ravel, Vaughn Williams and many others. Every composer we studied was white and every professor I had was white. I started studying piano at the age of eight, and that instructor was white. I had two wonderful teachers at the Willoughby School of Fine Arts, (whom I love and adore), they were both white. I have had many jobs outside the world of education and performing arts, and all of those supervisors have been white. All of them. I understand this is mostly because of where I grew up, but what is the long term effect of never seeing something familiar in a position of authority or scholarship? How does one know or think to become a teacher when that role model has never been seen? How does one grow to show empathy, sensitivity, and cultural awareness and understanding when that has never been on display?

Black students who'd had just one black teacher by third grade were 13 percent more likely to enroll in college—and those who'd had two were 32 percent more likely. The findings, led by researchers from Johns Hopkins University and American University, were published in a working paper titled "The Long-Run Impacts of Same-Race Teachers" by the National Bureau of Economic Research. What has been the long term effect of a eurocentric curriculum at the Wickliffe City School system? How does every student find themselves represented, or absent, (invisible) from that curriculum? Does the representation make each student feel encouraged or diminished? What if we taught the truth in our curriculum? We recite, “with liberty and justice for all”. History teaches us that has never been the truth.

I want to tell all of our students, faculty, staff and the families of anyone black and/or brown, anyone that has ever felt marginalized by an invisible cage of oppression. You now have a seat at the table. We see you. We hear you. We believe you and we will do something to make AOA a campus that chooses to include rather than exclude. Dr. Goodman has boldly declared that AOA will be an “anti-racist” campus. If oppression is the antithesis of love, then it will take an act of love to move in an equal and opposite direction from oppression. 

This is my story and a small part of my personal journey. If you have a story you would like to share, I would love to hear it. Please let me know. dlewis@andrewsosborne.com

If you’d like to check out the article from The News-Herald on my new Diversity Coordinator position at Andrews Osborne Academy, you can find it HERE.

The Benefits of Outdoor Learning

Theresa Frisbie

Director of Lower School

As an eternal optimist, I have looked for the silver linings in the havoc COVID has caused over the last year, and one exciting benefit in the world of education is the renewed emphasis on the benefits of outdoor learning for children. For years, research has been continually emerging on outdoor learning and the advantages it provides students including:

Reducing stress

Increasing intrinsic motivation

Increasing physical activity

Increased concentration

Outdoor learning provides students with the opportunities to collaborate, problem solve and think creatively. Students must rely on one another, and instead of adults “fixing” problems for students, they come to rely upon their own ingenuity, gaining confidence in themselves and each other.

At AOA, we have always included outdoor learning to a degree in our curriculum, especially in our Lower School Science Labs. Our Science Instructor takes students all over our 300 acres on explorations of forests, meadows and a large river. Just hiking to the point of the lesson calms anxiety and brightens moods. Students have been challenged to build bridges, find animal tracks, identify birds and reptiles, look for water erosion and much more, all while being physical and out in the fresh air. Studies show this increases cortisol which in turn affects concentration and mood in a positive way.

Over the last year, we have expanded our use of our campus and the outdoors to mitigate the COVID virus and, even when we are no longer worrying about the spread of COVID, we have found this expanded use of our outdoor spaces so beneficial for our students that we will continue these opportunities indefinitely. Some activities and spaces have challenged students to problem solve and take risks in new ways while other spaces have just allowed us to take indoor activities outside, like our new log circle on campus. Classes have used the log circle for discussions, debates, presentations, outdoor band and more. Working outside on beautiful days enhances everyone’s moods and we notice a more positive energy in our students.

As summer approaches and you hope to keep your children’s learning continuing over vacation, nothing beats spending time outdoors. From playing outside, to structured activities, to reading a good book under a tree, students’ mental, physical and emotional health will benefit and grow. I encourage you to “push” your children outside whenever possible. Enjoy!

The Hidden Benefits (and Loss) of Roommates

Stephanie Wismer

Director of Residential Life

If you have ever lived with a roommate, you have a story. Perhaps that story is one that sparked a lifelong friendship, or simply one that you lament and laugh over every few years at family gatherings. I have both. I infamously turned my first roommate experience into a slightly melancholy piano ballad, which multiple college friends of mine have requested I record for them. On the other hand, my second roommate was the Matron of Honor in my wedding. As a former college housing officer and current Director of Residential Life at Andrews Osborne Academy, I have collected others’ roommate stories for nearly a decade, and have seen first-hand how this experience can benefit students. And yet, I have never received a request more than this one: “I want a single room”.  

In the Covid era, boarding schools and colleges across the country have shifted their assignment practices to maximize single rooms out of necessity. We want a student’s “bubble” to be as small as possible to limit the spread of the virus. In essence, the pandemic has forced a trial run of what happens when many students get the rooming experience they thought they wanted, but perhaps not the one they needed. 

In my practical experience, there are few dynamics more indicative of how a student’s first year of college will go than their roommate relationship. The data supports this observation, as several studies have demonstrated. In a survey published in 2017 by Skyfactor, college students with roommates reported higher peer connections, social integration, and a higher GPA than those living in single rooms. A 2014 study out of George Mason University similarly underscored the important links between roommate relationships and student success and well-being. Successfully navigating a roommate relationship can lead to greater personal growth, enhanced social wellness, and improved ability to cope with academic demands. Simply put, even a mild social connection can have a massive impact.

Unfortunately, as the pandemic has persisted, students around the world have experienced significant and prolonged periods of isolation. A 2020 study from the University of Bath found that more than half of high school-aged students experienced some or significant increases in loneliness and isolation during the pandemic. Some psychologists believe these feelings will persist even after lockdowns end and the world reopens. In my experience, isolation begets isolation. This year, millions of students were not afforded the luxury of a roommate, a live peer to see and be seen by on a daily basis. After periods of isolation, instead of seeking out opportunities for social connection, many students continue to crave solitary time. In a post-isolation world, roommates have the potential to reinvigorate each other’s feelings of social connection, a critical aspect of their health that many have been forced to neglect. 

Without a doubt, the pandemic has presented challenges to mental health, and yet, I have never witnessed more resilience from a community than I have seen at AOA this year. Unlike many residential schools, we welcomed back our boarding students in August with a commitment to house them without interruption as part of our Year-Round Care Pledge. We instituted daily health screenings, navigated ever-evolving quarantine guidance, coordinated student medical appointments and testing, and have recently been able to expand our activity offerings, all without disrupting our students’ ability to learn in a hybrid model. Our Residential Curriculum has also been reconfigured to better prepare boarders to live with others and manage their anxiety around the college transition whenever possible. In a year without roommates, our students continue to learn what it means to live in a community, and see conflict resolution and restorative justice practices first-hand. The moments when a student feels part of and invested in a group have never been more meaningful or important. 

Whether your student is heading to college in the fall, or simply set to resume in-person learning in the near future, I cannot emphasize enough the value of daily in-person connection. While your student may wish to avoid the awkward dynamics that can arise when sharing a room, as we have reviewed, it is overwhelmingly to their benefit to opt into this experience. When it is safe to do so, AOA will resume a wide range of additional practices designed to help students overcome loneliness and restore a sense of connection to the wider world. Most important among these will be the resumption of providing every student the opportunity to have a roommate. And thus, the tradition of gathering roommate stories will continue on.

 

For those seeking further advice from a former collegiate housing officer regarding the college transition, I have shared some of my top tips for students and parents below.

For Students:

Establish a routine now and take your self-care seriously. Most young adults do not know what to do with the excess time they have after high school. That lack of routine impacts their ability to focus, eating and sleeping schedules, and overall ability to function at their best in college. Schedule time for studying, exercising, relaxing, and yes, even sleep. Take those scheduled times as seriously as your school schedule and extracurricular activities. Students who take care of themselves will always outpace those without that same balance.

Ask questions and seek out resources upon arrival! The most successful college students advocate for themselves. Between time and financial management training, success coaching, study tips, and counseling sessions, there is so much available for free on college campuses and in the surrounding communities to support you.

Your college roommate does not need to be your best friend. In fact, in most cases, it is more beneficial if they are not. Your college roommate needs to be someone that you can live well with. Often, that has more to do with when they go to sleep and their noise level preferences than how many friendship boxes they check off.

Conflict is inevitable. Too many first-year students request room changes to avoid conflict and those students typically end up more unhappy than they were to begin with. Before the honeymoon period is over with your new roommate(s), have an honest conversation about how you plan to share space throughout the year. Although it may add to your anxiety in the short-term, this is a best practice that will make life much easier down the road!

Discomfort and personal growth often go together. Please do not measure your success in college (or high school) by how comfortable you can become. Students who only surround themselves with similar, like-minded people and only experience things they already know they like will not grow as much as those who challenge themselves to step outside their comfort zone. Your college may be the most diverse community you have ever lived in, and the more you expose yourself to different people and perspectives, the more you will transform yourself. This is not to take away from the importance of self-care or finding affinity space, but a reminder to embrace discomfort and be open to the wonderfully diverse world we live in!

For Parents and Advocates:

Ask questions and listen. I can understand wanting to solve problems for your child, but what they often need is to feel empowered to advocate for themselves and seek out their own solutions. College is about starting that transition to independence. If they tell you they are upset with how something is going, you can first support what they’ve said with a statement like, “I can see why you feel that way” and then ask a follow up question like, “Have you shared this with anyone at the school?”

Remind them they are not alone. It can take awhile to find true friends, and feeling lonely or homesick during these times is very normal. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to remind your student that they are not alone, and that there is a long list of people at their school that are there to support them. This list may include their RA or another student leader, Hall Director, Advisor, or counselors on campus, depending upon what they need.

There is no “best” residence hall on campus and your student will learn to wake up on their own. For the record, no college I have worked for has ever had a “best” residence hall. In my experience, some of the happiest and most tight-knit communities were formed in older buildings with cinder block walls and community bathrooms. If your student has a good relationship with their roommate, the shape, size and age of their room will quickly become inconsequential to their happiness. Regarding my other note above, I promise you that no college administrator I’ve ever known would agree to wake your child up every morning. Just make sure they have a loud alarm and let them take it from there!

Return of the Horizon - Summer 2021

Scott McNevan

Director of Athletics, Assistant Head of School, Residential Life, and Co-Curriculars

Have you ever wondered how long it takes to become a pilot?

There are different requirements for various types of pilot’s licenses, but to specifically become a commercial airline transport pilot, the FAA requires over 1500 hours of training.  It can take years to accomplish this and there’s good reason for such a significant requirement. 

Commercial pilots must be trusted to transport human lives safely, regardless of conditions, with or without a visible horizon.  

The horizon is an apparent line separating the earth from the sky.  It divides all viewing directions based on whether it intersects earth’s surface or not.  For most of us, that view is important.  The visible horizon provides valuable information about what lies ahead of us.  Without it, we can lose our bearings and drift off course.    

When a pilot ‘loses their horizon’, they simply rely on those 1500 hours of training.  They transition in the cockpit to flying with instruments, able to safely navigate the darkness or cloud cover, continuing on towards their destination with conviction.  In other words, they can make decisions not based on what they see, but on what they know to be true.    

FLYING BLIND

We will all remember the year 2020 for as long as we live.  The year of the COVID-19 global pandemic.  The year all the instruments in the cockpit stopped working.  We were left to fly blind.  

It all seemed to happen so fast last spring.  Travel paused, learning and working from home, no congregating, everything cancelled, masks, disinfecting, distancing…it was surreal.  

And to make matters worse, many of our ‘instruments’, our tried and true decision-making criteria, were no longer dependable.  How could we problem-solve responsibly with so little information?  How could we function safely and know what was healthy with so much changing each week?  For many, many months now we’ve lived in these questions, navigating our pathways carefully, with very little confidence about what lay ahead of us.   

The experience has tested us.  It’s been exhausting emotionally and physically and socially.  It’s forced us to accept and adapt to a new normal that we despise, one that involves morning temperature checks and health screenings and quarantining, one that’s minimized the connectivity our AOA community normally thrives on. 

At times during the past year, we’ve lost faith in both what we see and what we know.  Truly a worst case scenario, even for the most well-trained pilots among us.  

VAN GOGH 

‘If I cease searching, then, woe is me, I am lost.  That is how I look at it.  Keep going, keep going, come what may’  -Vincent van Gogh

We have kept going.  We’ve put one foot in front of the other, day after day, all doing the best we could, embracing the ambiguity, betting on ourselves, and believing we would come out of this stronger as a school.    

There’s something happening now.  We’ve trusted the process and it’s finally paying off.

After a full year of adjusting to protocols, working together through the remote and hybrid learning, dealing with the disruptions and contact tracing and zoom meetings...our flight instruments are coming back to life. 

Sure it’s currently February and freezing outside, but the promise of approaching spring weather and sunshine and warmth is comforting.  Welcome thoughts about baseball,  softball, tennis and fresh air and getting back outside are coming alive in our minds.  Vaccinations are becoming increasingly available and will continue to roll out to the public more each month.  Regaining some sort of our normalcy, which once felt like a dream, is starting to feel more and more possible. Optimism is growing.   

THE SUMMER SOLSTICE

Sunday, June 20th is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year.  Each year, this June solstice occurs, marking the official start of summer in the northern hemisphere.  It is a day many look forward to annually, but this year is different.  

It’s not just about enjoying the sunshine or the longer evenings outside.  This year it will be about something much more important.

Summer 2021 is about the return of our horizon.  

It’s about getting back on course, finding our way again, and re-calibrating our path forward.  It’s about taking what we’ve learned and making plans safely and responsibly to reconnect with our community again.    

This summer at AOA, our students will have a full menu of safe, fun camp options to choose from.  Reconnect with us.  Plug back in.  We can’t wait to see your student in June.

The horizon has returned. 

AOA summer camp details will go out early March in the school newsletter and on social media.  Registration will soon be available on the school website.